Last Sunday I had dinner with my friends. We were talking about bikes, Instagram, elections, and relationships.
Then my friend started a conversation about a guy and the whole table was divided into two groups: “I agree” and “I don’t agree”.
Bottom line was: “We are not all the same. What is good for me may not be good for you”.
I thought about her words on a larger and more general scale.
We spend our life trying to do what looks objectively right, because this is what we have been told. They told us that some things are right while some other things are not, but we forget that we play a very important role in our relationship with the outside world.
Something may work according to my personality but it may not work according to someone else’s personality.
It is so simple, but I arrived to this conclusion when I am about to turn 33.
Let me be more practical: a few nights ago I was riding my bike and had a flat tire – the same thing happened also the night before when I was riding my bicycle – I just went crazy because according to my point of view I had to solve that problem straight away.
According to my personality, to my point of view, and to what I am used.
Me. Me. Me.
So I took for granted that other people had to be just like me and, since they were not, I literally went crazy.
The day after I tried to apply this theory on a wider and general level.
When people say: “I know you, he is not the right guy for you”, don’t buy it. We know ourselves better than any other person.
When you are feeling uncomfortable about something, it is better to say it out loud rather than staying quiet and running the risk to explode. Your discomfort may not be interpreted as such by someone else who may end up ignoring your feelings without wanting to.
When we use cynicism as a weapon, we should just defend ourselves with our own cynicism, not others (they can use other tools, such as their own cynicism).
When we apologize about something it means that we have been able to acknowledge the differences between the “me” and the “you”. We should be rewarded with “thank you”, “no worries”, “it’s OK”. If that doesn’t happen, well maybe it means that those differences will always keep you apart from that person rather than help you build new bridges.
I wrote a pretty complicated post, I know. I just hope that someone got me right.
Trousers: Levi’s vintage
Backpack: Mandarina Duck
T-shirt: my dad’s