God created Him. And Her.
And we all agree on that, don’t we?
In order to steal Adam’s rib and create Eva, God might have hypnotized Adam or maybe he simply hit him on the head.
However, God wasn’t fully satisfied with his experiment. Due to his endless passion for science and humankind, God decided to take another bone away from Adam; a bone that was supposed to make him feel as proud as a real alpha man: the baculum bone, also known as penis or stick.
Oh yeah. If on the one hand God decided to take the penis bone away from Adam, on the other hand he gave a one-meter-and-an-half-penis-bone to Sea Lions.
But men never complained about it because they live in their own world, that is to say a world that focuses all around their own penis; a world where all of them are a crazy lovers capable of providing mind blowing performances.
Since God decided to make such a relevant subtraction, he forced men to be able to use their bone only through a very complicated hydraulic system – which works only when and if they are in a good psychophysical shape.
“Adam, did you read the morning paper?” asked Eva.
“No. What’s up?”, said Adam.
“Your friend Darwin says that God was right about removing your penis bone, because now your hydraulic system works like a litmus paper; if it works it is all good. If not, it means that we need to go see a doctor. Now, that sounds like a real discovery! And you even dare to vote for Darwin!”
“Who should I vote for then? – says Adam – Should I vote for Trump who wants to castrate all us Mexicans?”
“Since when are you Mexican?”
“Well, I am a citizen of the world so I feel also Mexican and I don’t want to take the chance”.
It has been a while – about six months – since Adam had experienced some erectile dysfunction. His hydraulic system was clearly blocked; despite that, he kept sharing with his friends details about his amazing sexual life. And, of course, he also told Eve that this was just a temporary problem.
No man – from Adam to John Doe – will ever admit that he could’t perform.
No woman – from Eva to Jane Doe – will ever be immune from meeting a man who can’t perform.
Something is clearly not clear in this penis-centric society.
Adam kept “wasting his time” on Google, trying to learn more about things like “erectile dysfunction”. He was even reading some female forum on the net. He refused the idea of having a problem until Eva – who at first was understanding and sympathetic – told Adam that unless he would have solved this problem, she would have slept with Achilles.
“He is even half-God so it is going to be so, so good”, said Eva.
Adam felt challenged so he decided to go to see a doctor who minimized the problem and told Adam to rest and drink three hot teas a day.
Adam went to see another doctor who – believe it or not – minimized the problem and told Adam to rest and follow a healthy and balanced diet.
But Adam lived in Heaven so he didn’t really had the chance to stress that much or to eat junk food.
Eva decided to take him to a third doctor who prescribed him some real drugs.
“Sex is not mathematics. We don’t mate by chance, and when we do mate we need to be in a good psychophysical shape. So, Mr Adam, allow me to prescribe you the care-free pill which looks like a chemical bone”, said Doctor Jannini, Professor of Endocrinology and Sexology at the Tor Vergata University of Rome and President of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine.
The doctor kept talking about some other things that sounded so good yet so complicated and unintelligible at the same time: “First generation molecules like Sildenafil, the blue pill, Tadalafil, the weekend pill or the love mint Vardenafil can’t always solve the problem, while some second generation molecules like Avanafil have a more direct action and work within 15/30 minutes. Try the care-free pill and let me know”.
Adam switched from having an irregular sexual life to having a regular sexual life, and he kept showing off with his friends – just as if this little problem never existed.
He decided not to vote for Trump nor Darwin. He didn’t vote at all.
Eva never flirted with Achilles and sent the hot teas back to the first doctor. Professor Jannini went to see Adam and Eve for dinner and they all ended up being good friends.
Eva never voted for Darwin.