Morning Lady


Some days one wakes up feeling overwhelmed by sensations. Those kind of sensations that didn’t exist when we didn’t use Facebook, Whatsapp, and other Social Media. Do you know what kind of feeling I am talking about?
Modern women are constantly feeling anxious. Men, on the contrary, never experience this feeling.
Sometimes I try to remember how it felt like to wake up in peace, rolling around and taking the whole bed, mumbling some random words without “needing” to check phone, emails, and social accounts.

When I was younger I had an alarm clock that “sang” just like a rooster. Someone gave it to me as a present and I must admit that I still have it. Maybe I should use it again in order to protect my mental health.
If I take a moment to think about it, when I was just a kid my mornings weren’t stressful; I loved going to school, I loved knowing that my mom was already awake, and I loved having breakfast. I didn’t really love waking up by the ring of phone or smelling the annoying scent of cigarettes; however, I used to be completely carefree. The only thing I had to worry about was to make sure I had all the books that I needed in my backpack.

When I was at university I didn’t use my phone as much as I do now, however during those days I had to face a different challenge: two guys who kept calling me fatty. To be honest now I have to thank them as they taught me how to deal with negative energies.
Nowadays a morning lady wakes up checking her phone as she plays that cruel game called “text me, text me not”, or checking the last time he was online. And here come troubles.

Will he text me? If so, when will he text me? Since she is so scared, she writes to her Friend A, and then to her Friend B – maybe she even sends a voice note (I hate voice notes). She is so going to lose this game considering that men don’t like texting, especially early in the morning.

In order to keep her mind busy, the morning lady focuses on  her next issue that needs to be solved: what to wear – especially now that she has gained some extra kilos – women always gain some kilos. So she throws her fat-free yogurt away and runs towards her wardrobe – which is full of clothes but she never knows what to wear.

Ah, him.
Ah, breakfast.
Ah, my fucking emails.
Ah, my black dress.
Ah, I am running out of water, I should get some.
Ah, Clara’s bday is coming up, I need to get her a present. Shit.

Do you want to know how this story ends? The morning lady wears her black dress, carries some make-up in her bag, wears flat shoes and drinks a light coffee – so light that she is almost fainting by 11am.

And he never texts her. Of course.